We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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