Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
birth control should be required to get into college
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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