There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
