Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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