Duck Duck Cougar?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
