His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
