i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
