dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
