If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think people are normalizing furries
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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