She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
