"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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