big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
