a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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