That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
