can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
