Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I could fuck to npr.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
