Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
