I wish i was in the wii world.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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