she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
