oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
