I wish I could teleport
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
