Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
