HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
