just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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