Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
