Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
