Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
