Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
