C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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