i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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