I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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