Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
