Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
