Betty ford says i'm here all night
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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