it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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