I wish I could teleport
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize