Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
