saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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