May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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