I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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