Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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