I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
