So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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