I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
