hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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