Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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