those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
