So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
