Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just tell him i said nine months
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
