So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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